Soul Ties -Pt.1
We already know that there are many kinds of soul ties and at different levels. Some develop soul ties with animals, imaginary characters, inanimate objects and more. Most soul-ties men create in the world are ungodly and unhealthy for our living a victorious overcoming Christian life. This is a broad subject and so we are not trying to fully cover all kinds of soul-ties in detail and we are not dealing with those that strictly have to do with the unsaved.
The positive effects of a godly soul ties:
Here is an example of parent/child soul-ties between Jacob and Benjamin. Gen.44:20, “his father loveth him… 30 his life is bound up in the lad’s life;” Jacob’s love for Benjamin was intensified because he believed Joseph was dead. The problem in parent/child soul-ties can come when there is no leaving and cleaving for marriage, when we must separate certain aspects of our parental ties in order to have a healthy marriage.
Soul-Ties between friends. 1 Samuel 18:1,3-4, “And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. … v.3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.”
David and Jonathan formed a covenant because they loved each other so deeply. Their souls were tied or joined together. The stronger the bonding or soul ties between friends the deeper and more lasting the relationship is. Also the emotional and mental strengths of the one will sustain the other in times of adversity and allows them to rejoice with each other in the times of victory. They drew encouragement, security and fellowship through their relationship.
When love between friends is pure and not polluted by selfish desires, the bond between will be a blessing. Jesus speaks of this kind of love in John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
In order to have this kind of friendship, you have to be very selective and have God’s wisdom. The Holy Spirit will teach you how to have this kind of relationship. It takes people that have a pure and giving heart that put their love in action. If you have a close friend in your life right now and they have these characteristics; that is good. If they are selfish and controlling, this friendship could become dangerous, because your souls are knit together, emotionally and this is not a Godly kind of soul tie.
The Bible warns against entering ungodly relationships. Prov.1:10, 15; “My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. . . . Walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path” Scriptures like this caution us against the wrong types of friends. God made us social creatures and meant for us to have social interaction and relationships with others, but we need discernment in them.
The early church in the book of acts was so explosive and experienced such power because they were unified in soul and spirit. Acts 4:32 “And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul.”
Soul ties can be a tremendous blessing for fellowship and growth in the Lord, but they can also be used for the devil's advantage. Our Heavenly Father designed the universe to function with natural and spiritual laws that bring freedom when obeyed, but bondage and destruction when broken and violated. Just as two souls can be knit or made to cleave together in a covenant relationship, they can also be tied or knit together to form bondage and enslavement.
Sexual union was ordained by God to make two marriage partners one flesh before God, but promiscuous premarital and extramarital affairs mysteriously ties ones soul to other partners. It is a spiritual tie between two people. We just don’t have any concept of how promiscuity outside of marriage scatters our souls and destroys our ability to be fully committed to one partner. We seem to misunderstand the seriousness in these soul ties and it is because of a lack of knowledge that we suffer.
Since the sexual union of marriage ties two souls together as one, what do you think happens if a person commits fornication or adultery with another person outside of the marriage? They cleave together just as in marriage. The soul ties formed through illicit sexual involvement can be as strong and binding as those formed through marriage.
It is very important that married couples be satisfied in their sexual life. If one is not they may become strongly tempted to seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere. Remember if you or your spouse become tempted and start thinking about something you shouldn’t, a picture will develop in your mind and eventually it will be manifested in your life. Prov.23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:”
The key is being mutually satisfied. This can only come because two people give themselves to one another and they live to satisfy the needs of their mate. This will not happen if a couple lives by today’s self centered, self serving, me first standards. When two people are more interested in pleasing themselves than their mate, neither will be satisfied. You must give of yourself to receive, it’s an exchange program.
1 Cor.7:5 “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
Matt.5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Soul ties formed from sex outside of marriage causes a person to become defiled: Genesis 34:2-3, "And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her. And his soul cleaved unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob..." This scripture gives an illustration of how fornication and immorality form defiling soul ties.
Gen 34:8 “And Hamor communed with them, saying the soul of my son Shechem longeth for your daughter...” Sexual involvement can form soul ties with such entangling tentacles that it is extremely hard to break off the relationship. This is why it is so common for a person to still have 'feelings' towards an ex-lover that they have no reason to be attracted to in that way. Even 20 years down the road, a person may still think of their first lover... because there is still a soul tie!
Demonic spirits can take advantage of ungodly soul ties, and use them to transfer spirits from one person to another. Ritual sex is one of the key means for getting new members into the bondage of spiritual whoredoms, like the worship of the goddess Diana in the book of Acts or witch covens and satanic groups today.
Ezekiel 23:17, "And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their whoredom, and she was polluted with them."
The Dangers of fornication and adultery:
Sexual play in any form (intercourse, oral, etc.) is supposed to be for marriage alone. Sex outside of marriage will not only open a person up to diseases as HIV, but it also creates a spiritual bondage between partners, a link that can cause unclean or demonic bondages to transfer from one person to the other.
1 Corinthians 6:16-18, "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined (united) unto the Lord is one (with Him in) spirit. Flee fornication (sexual immorality). Every sin that a man commits is outside the body; but he that committeth fornication (sexual immorality) sinneth against his own body."
Obviously the two didn't get married, but something spiritual "happened" when they were joined physically in the act of sex. Their souls were joined or tied together. Often there are men who have an affair with a prostitute called a one night stand, and afterwards, even years later, they still think about that girl!
No matter what Satan tells you, and how he says it is ok to have sex outside of marriage as its okay because you are in love. Your life will become entangled and you will come into spiritual bondage.
The consequences of a casual affair can be harmful and enduring because the soul ties formed can actually bind a person for life. But God’s desire for us is spiritual freedom and liberty.
God so designed every woman that the first man who has sex with her takes a form of dominion over her. Gen.3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
Her human spirit and soul is designed to respond to the man by supplying affection to him and being that mans fountain of satisfaction all through his life. God made woman to develop a longing desire for her first lover.
The dominion a soul tie gives a man over his lover is often so binding that he can insult and mistreat her but she seems helplessly enslaved to him. Many women will tolerate all kinds of abuse and they don’t understand why: They end up hating themselves, because they don’t understand about soul ties.
Women, if you are unable to give yourself fully to your husband, it could be because your spirit and emotions are being continually drawn back to a past lover. If a woman has sexual relations with several men, her spirit and soul seek out every one of them. Her spirit is scattered and torn apart.
A man is built so that when he has sexual intimacy with a woman, his spirit wants to protect, bless, nurture and provide for that woman. That is why there are men who are divorced and remarried who still want to protect and provide for their ex-wife.
When you know spiritual truth, it will set you free from the past, with all its failures and bondages that you can walk in a newness of freedom in Christ.
1 Cor.6:18-19 “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”
Those that have been promiscuous, their souls are not only drawn to their former lovers, but when they marry they often have sexual and communication problems with their mates. They are unable to be sexually satisfied by their marriage partner because they suffer from a scattered soul and they cannot share themselves fully with their mate. So they often seek satisfaction, not only with multiple partners, but also through sexual experimentation.
There are different levels of soul-ties; physical, soul and spiritual. There are different ways in which we relate to others.
Let me use Pastor Korey and her husband, Pastor Luis for my example, but the story won’t be factual.
When they were young, Luis meats Korey at school and they say, “Hi” and they go on living their lives alongside each other. Their relationship is causal and on the physical level, not sexual, but physical.
After awhile, Luis decides he wants to get to know Korey a bit better and so he asks her out on a date. The more time he spends with her the more he likes her. Eventually they start talking about their hopes and dreams, their hurts and disappointments, about their desires and what they want to do with their lives and to accomplish in life. They are now communicating on the soul level. They are developing a soul-tie.
Next they decide to start going to church together and they begin to worship and then pray together. Now they are relating on a spiritual level because they are inviting the Lord into their relationship. Through praise, worship and prayer we communicate spirit to spirit.
Now all three levels of relationship can occur between two friends, co-workers or church members, between a brother and sister, a parent and child and of course a husband and wife.
The marital relationship is where the three all come together in the most intense and intimate way. Make NO mistake about it, the sexual relationship between a married couple involves all three parts of our being, your body, soul and spirit. It has never been just a physical act and never will be because of the way God designed it to be.
Soul Ties in Marriage
(Ephesians 5:31, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."). Sex inside marriage strengthens a God ordained soul-tie.
However, when a person has ungodly sexual relations with another person, which is any sexual relationship outside marriage, including physical, fantasy or otherwise, an ungodly soul tie is always formed. These soul ties are intimate bonds to another human being that were never intended by the Lord. This soul tie fragments the soul, and is destructive. People who have past relationships may find it very difficult to 'bond' or be joined to others, because their soul is fragmented.
When our souls are scattered because of soul-ties, we are spiritually tied to others. This can prevent us from fully giving ourselves to our spouse. If you had a previous girl friend or spouse and are divorced and remarried, those old ties must be broken or you will have serious problems. Before we can cleave, to someone new, you first have to let go of the one in your past. You have to cut and sever all old ties before you start your new life. If you go into a marriage with your past not put behind you, the enemy will try to resurrect your past.
When our soul is divided it affects our ability to receive from others and God. You can’t received the love from your spouse you desperately desire and need, though they offer it and tell you they love you, they show it in what they do, but it doesn’t get through and so you conclude they aren’t giving it. The one can give and give and do everything possible for the other, but it isn’t received and they get little or nothing in return. It is a one-way relationship.
Therefore, soul-ties will affect your ability to trust your spouse. You are unable to receive the love that they offer so you will deem them unworthy of trust even without thinking about it. The problem is you are double-minded.
This is James chapter 1. He said the one who asks but doubts will receive nothing from the Lord and then tells us in verse 8, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” He’s inconsistent. You can’t depend upon him.
Our inability to receive that which is being offered by our spouse or even God is because our soul is tied to another and that is a connection of our heart. This problem destroys marriages as it does ones ability to receive from God and to trust God. This is why many of us have soul-ties that must be broken, even if at one time they were not ungodly, as one with a past spouse that we are no longer married too. But now that tie must be broken because it will only produce bondage and death, instead of life.
Breaking these soul-ties with the person you’re divorced from is necessary to be truly free. Breaking the soul-ties of those old relationships can actually save your current marriage because now you are able to freely love your spouse with ALL of your heart.
Having a divided soul concerning your marriage will not only cause you to not be able to fully receive what is being given to you by your spouse but it will also stop you from fully giving yourself to your spouse. You can give ‘with all your heart’, but if your heart is divided, you don’t have q whole heart to give to begin with, so what you can give is limited by how much you have to give, a fragment.
There have been stories of wives who feel like the other woman is in bed with them when she is having sex with her husband. She is sensing his unbroken soul-tie, his spiritual bond with a previous mate. It is this same intuition that enables a woman to sense when her spouse is cheating on her. When the tie is broken, this sense of the presence of another will go away.
In conclusion: All soul-ties aren’t bad and some are essential. First, we want our souls fully tied to Christ. We renew and strengthen that tie by communion and walking by His Spirit. We want to be “one mind” with the Lord (1Corinthians 2:16, Philippians 4:2). We also want and need this oneness with our mate, being “...no longer two but ONE...” (Matthew 19:6).
Breaking soul-ties and curses is done from the heart, with the mouth, and with the blood and name of Jesus. Romans 10:9-10 “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” Revelation 12:11 “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony;” But first be sure your heart is clean before trying to break soul-ties and curses.
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